RageRecipes

Tomato Basil Pasta: A Fiery Rage Recipe

Ah, Tomato Basil Pasta, a classic dish that brings forth memories of summer and sun-kissed tomatoes straight from the garden. Today, amidst my usual rage and fury, I have decided to bless you, my loyal readers, with this incredibly simple yet fucking delicious recipe. As much as I hate other recipe blogs that only care about fucking SEO and forget the true passion for food, I will make sure to serve you this recipe with a side of pure unfiltered anger.

A Rant About Those Damn Cooking Shows

Let me just take a moment to lose my shit over these goddamn cooking shows. Are you seriously telling me that some overpaid, pompous asshats with perfectly coiffed hair and flawless makeup are the ultimate authority on cooking? Just because they can whip up some fancy shit on television, they think they can look down on us peasants who dare to chop onions without a proper technique? Fuck that noise. Cooking is about passion, experimentation, and making a mess in the kitchen. It's not about looking pretty on camera or having the right accent. So, screw those cooking shows and let's get down and dirty with this Tomato Basil Pasta recipe.

Ingredients You'll Need, You Lazy Fuck

  • 1 pound of dried spaghetti (Don't even think about using that shitty instant pasta crap)
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes, diced (Use canned tomatoes and I will personally come over to your house and kick your sorry ass)
  • 1/2 cup of extra virgin olive oil (Go for the good stuff, you cheap fuck)
  • 4 cloves of garlic, minced (You better mince it finely, lazy bastards!)
  • A handful of fresh basil leaves, torn (No dried basil, you fucking heathens)
  • Red pepper flakes, to taste (Don't be a pussy, add a shit ton)
  • Salt and pepper, to season (Don't go easy on the seasoning, you tasteless twats)
  • Grated Parmesan cheese, for serving (Do I need to even specify that it better be freshly grated? FFS)

Let the Fury Guide You Through the Recipe

  1. First, let's boil the pasta. Fill a large pot with water and season it generously with salt. Bring it to a boil over high heat, you impatient assholes. Once it's boiling, add the spaghetti and cook until al dente. Don't overcook it like some sad soggy mess.
  2. While that shit is cooking, take a fucking skillet and heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the minced garlic and sauté it until it turns golden and fragrant. Watch it closely, or it'll burn and make your kitchen smell like a dumpster fire.
  3. Now, you toss in those diced tomatoes and let them simmer away in their own juices. Cook them until they soften and start to break down. This is the perfect time to crush them with the back of your spoon, releasing their juicy goodness. Oh, the sweet sound of squished tomatoes.
  4. Once the pasta is cooked, drain it, and add it to the sauce in the skillet. Toss it like your life depends on it, making sure every strand gets coated with that tangy tomato goodness. Add red pepper flakes, torn basil leaves, salt, and pepper. Give it another furious toss.
  5. Plate that shit up and grate some fresh Parmesan cheese on top. Don't be stingy with it; we're not here to count calories, you tasteless fuckers. Serve it immediately and watch the faces of your loved ones light up with joy as they taste this masterpiece.

Get the Fuck in the Kitchen and Cook!

Now that you have this magical Tomato Basil Pasta recipe in your hands, what the fuck are you waiting for? Get off your lazy ass, gather those ingredients, and let this dish transport you to a place of divine culinary pleasure. And don't you dare forget that this is Rage Recipes, where we cook with nothing but raw fury and an insatiable hunger for the most fucking delicious food on Earth!

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Monday, January 22 2024

Brought to you with an unhealthy dose of anger and love for food.
Expect a new post around 08:03 today. (It's 07:15 right now)