Get Ready to Make this Fucking Delicious Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble

Listen the fuck up, you sorry excuse for a home cook. Today we're making a goddamn Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble. Why? Because strawberries and rhubarb are a fucking match made in culinary heaven, that's why. The sweetness of the strawberries combined with the tartness of the rhubarb will make your taste buds do a fucking jig. So put on your big boy pants and let's get cooking.

Let me tell you something about rhubarb. This vegetable masquerading as a fruit is so fucking underrated. It's got this tangy, sour flavor that will smack you across the face and leave you begging for more. But you know what pisses me off? People who don't know how to handle rhubarb properly. They leave those goddamn poisonous leaves on and wonder why their dish tastes like shit. Trim that crap off, you incompetent fools!

• 3 cups of sliced strawberries (fresh or frozen, I don't give a damn)
• 3 cups of sliced rhubarb (make sure to trim that shit properly)
• 1 cup of granulated sugar (sweeten this bitch up)
• 1/4 cup of cornstarch (to thicken this mess)
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract (for that extra oomph)
• For the crumble topping:
• 1 cup of all-purpose flour (the most basic of fucking flours)
• 1 cup of old-fashioned oats (get some fucking fiber in there)
• 1 cup of brown sugar (because white sugar is for wimps)
• 1/2 cup of melted butter (none of that margarine bullshit)
• A pinch of salt (to balance out the sweet and tart)

1. Preheat your oven to 350°F, you better not fuck this up.
2. In a large bowl, mix the strawberries, rhubarb, sugar, cornstarch, and vanilla extract until everything is coated evenly. Pour this sinful mixture into a baking dish.
3. In another damn bowl, combine the flour, oats, brown sugar, melted butter, and salt. Mix that shit until it resembles coarse crumbs.
4. Sprinkle the crumble mixture over the strawberry rhubarb mixture like you're sprinkling fairy dust of deliciousness.
5. Bake in the preheated oven for about 45-50 minutes or until the crumble topping is golden brown and the fruit is bubbling underneath.
6. Let it cool for a bit because no one likes burnt tongues, you impatient idiot.
7. Serve this Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble with a scoop of vanilla ice cream because life is short and you deserve some fucking indulgence.