Alright, you miserable bunch of culinary fuck-ups, today we are diving into the chaos of making Sausage and Peppers. Why did I choose this recipe, you ask? Well, because I fucking love the combination of fiery sausages and vibrant bell peppers. It's a match made in hell, just like most of the shit shows going on in the world today. So, prepare your taste buds for a rollercoaster ride of flavors, and let's get cookin'!
Before we jump into this recipe, I have to address something that really grinds my gears: sausage casings. You know, those little bits of slimy, unnatural, and rubbery bullshit that hold the deliciousness inside. Seriously, who the fuck thought it was a good idea to encase something so succulent in an inedible piece of rubber? It's like wrapping a present in a sheet of poison ivy. Why can't sausages just be naked? It's 2024, people! Get your shit together, sausage manufacturers.
- 6 Italian sausages - Make sure these bastards are the hot kind, because we're not here to fuck around with flavorless mediocrity.
- 2 bell peppers, any color will do - Don't you dare give me that "but I don't like green peppers" bullshit. Use whatever color you like, but don't you dare disrespect the peppers.
- 1 onion - Because we need something to make us cry other than our miserable existence.
- 4 cloves of garlic - Because no recipe is complete without garlic. It's like a tasty little punch in the mouth.
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil - To lubricate the pan, because things are about to get hot and heavy.
- 1 teaspoon of dried oregano - Time to sprinkle some dried plant shit on our culinary creation.
- Salt and pepper to taste - Season this bitch like there's no tomorrow. Taste as you go, you lazy motherfuckers.
Alright, you bunch of useless trolls, it's time to turn on the stove and get cooking. Pay attention and try not to burn your tiny little brains.
- Preheat your oven to 400°F (200°C) - We need this shit hot and ready to handle our explosive combination.
- In a large frying pan, heat up the olive oil over medium-high heat - We're not fucking around here. We want the pan screaming hot, just like your sorry excuse for a life.
- Add the sausages to the pan - Listen to the satisfying sizzle as the sausages start to dance in the hot oil. Cook those fuckers until they've got a nice golden brown tan. Set them aside for now.
- In the same pan, add the onions and cook until they're soft and translucent - Give those onions a good beating until they submit to your will. It's time for them to caramelize and accept their fate.
- Throw in the bell peppers and garlic and give it a good stir - Let the flavors collide in a fiery battle of wills. Cook them until they're slightly charred and have lost all hope of retaining their crunch.
- Slice the cooked sausages into bite-sized pieces and add them back to the pan - Let the sausages reunite with their vegetable comrades. It's like a dysfunctional family reunion, only tastier.
- Sprinkle in the dried oregano, and season with salt and pepper - Show those sorry excuses of ingredients who's fucking boss. Season to taste, and don't be afraid to go overboard. No one likes bland shit.
- Transfer the whole chaotic mess to a baking dish - We're almost there, you lazy fucks. Pop that delicious concoction into the preheated oven and let it bake for about 15-20 minutes, or until the sausages are cooked through.
- Serve this fiery delight with crusty bread, rice, or pasta - Now, grab a plate, you miserable excuse for a human being, and heap this glorious mess onto it. Pair it with some crusty bread, rice, or pasta, and dive in headfirst.
And there you have it, you pathetic wimps—Sausage and Peppers served with a heaping side of rage. Now get off your worthless asses, gather the ingredients, and start cooking like your life depends on it. Because let's face it, it probably does.
xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Wednesday, January 10 2024