Today motherfuckers, we are diving into the realm of sophistication with this goddamn Sesame Crusted Tuna recipe. Why the hell did I choose this shit? Because I'm fucking tired of people thinking cooking tuna can only involve a can opener. We're gonna elevate this dish to gourmet levels, you hear me?

I fucking swear, if I see one more person overcooking their tuna until it tastes like dry, flavorless bullshit, I'm gonna lose my mind. Tuna is a delicate piece of seafood that deserves to be treated with respect, not thrown into a pan and forgotten about until it's as tough as leather. And don't even get me started on those pretentious assholes who turn their noses up at well-done tuna like they're too good for it. Fuck off with your snobbery and let people enjoy their food the way they like it.

• 2 fresh tuna steaks (about 6 oz each) - Don't you dare use that canned shit, fresh is the only way to go here
• 1/4 cup soy sauce - Make sure it's not that low-sodium crap, we need the real deal here
• 2 tablespoons sesame oil - None of that fake, diluted sesame oil nonsense
• 2 cloves garlic, minced - None of that pre-minced bullshit, fresh is the only way
• 1 tablespoon honey - And I better not catch you using that fake sugar syrup crap instead
• 1/2 cup sesame seeds - Splurge on the good shit, none of that stale, flavorless crap
• Salt and pepper to taste - If you don't know how to season your food, just stop cooking altogether

1. In a shallow dish, mix together the soy sauce, sesame oil, minced garlic, and honey. Toss the tuna steaks in the marinade until fully coated. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes, but the longer, the fucking better.

2. In a separate shallow dish, spread out the sesame seeds. Remove the tuna steaks from the marinade and press them into the sesame seeds, coating both sides evenly. Season with salt and pepper.

3. Heat a non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. Add a splash of sesame oil. Once hot, add the tuna steaks and cook for about 2-3 minutes per side for medium-rare, or longer if you're one of those well-done weirdos. Don't you dare overcook this delicate fish, or I will find you.

4. Remove the tuna from the skillet and let it rest for a minute. Slice the tuna into thin strips and serve immediately. Garnish with some extra sesame seeds if you're feeling fancy.

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Wednesday, January 22 2025