Rage Recipes: Sausage and Peppers

Introduction: Today, you sorry excuses for home cooks, I've chosen to grace you with a recipe for Sausage and Peppers. Why? Because unlike you, this dish actually has some goddamn flavor. It's a classic, simple, and comforting meal that even the most incompetent of you might be able to pull off. So pay attention, put down your pathetic excuses, and let's get cooking.

Furious Rant: Let me tell you something, the sorry state of cooking these days makes me want to hurl kitchen knives at anyone who dares to call themselves a "food blogger." I'm sick and tired of those spineless fools who write recipes like they're penning a love letter. Newsflash, no one gives a damn about your life story, Karen! Just give me the damn ingredients and step away from the kitchen!

Ingredients:

• 4 Italian sausages (hot or sweet, your choice - but don't you dare pick chicken sausage, you coward)
• 2 bell peppers, sliced (any color, as long as it's not beige like your bland soul)
• 1 large onion, sliced (yes, you have to use an onion, don't even think about skipping it)
• 3 garlic cloves, minced (you better not even look at that pre-minced jar, you lazy piece of garbage)
• 1 can (14.5 oz) crushed tomatoes (if you even think about using ketchup, I will find you)
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano (don't you dare use the fresh stuff, I know you won't bother)
• Salt and pepper (if you oversalt this, I swear I will haunt your taste buds for eternity)
• Crusty bread, for serving (try not to cheap out on this, you'll thank me later)

Recipe:

1. Sear the Sausages: Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the sausages and sear them until they're browned on all sides. Don't overcrowd the pan, unless you enjoy sad, steamed sausages. Remove the sausages and set them aside.
2. Cook the Peppers and Onions: In the same skillet (with all that flavorful sausage fat), throw in the sliced peppers and onions. Cook them until they're softened and starting to caramelize. If you burn them, I will laugh at your incompetence - don't test me.
3. Add the Garlic and Tomatoes: Toss in the minced garlic and cook for about 30 seconds until fragrant. Pour in the crushed tomatoes, oregano, salt, and pepper. Stir everything together like your life depends on it.
4. Simmer and Reunite: Nestle the seared sausages back into the skillet with the peppers and tomato sauce. Let it all simmer together for about 15-20 minutes until the sausages are cooked through and the flavors have melded into a symphony of deliciousness.
5. Serve and Shut up: Serve the sausage and peppers hot, preferably with some crusty bread on the side to soak up all that saucy goodness. Don't even think about taking a picture for your Instagram before you've tasted it – you'll regret it.