RageRecipes

Rage Recipes: Chimichurri Steak

Today, we're diving into the mouthwatering world of Chimichurri Steak. Why the hell did I choose this recipe? Because it's a goddamn flavor explosion that will make your taste buds scream with joy. Plus, I get to rant about those pretentious asshats who think cooking is some kind of elitist art form. News flash, it's fucking food, not a Picasso painting. Let's get down and dirty with this bold and punchy dish.

Cooking Shows Can Suck It: You know what really grinds my gears? Those overly dramatic cooking shows where the contestants act like they're curing cancer with a sous vide machine. Get over yourselves, you're just making fancy food, not solving world hunger. And don't even get me started on those judges who spew out generic compliments like they're Shakespeare of the culinary world. It's all a load of horseshit, folks.

Ingredients:

  • 1 ½ pounds of flank steak, you better not screw this up
  • 1 cup of fresh parsley, finely chopped
  • 4 cloves of garlic, minced (if you use pre-minced garlic, I will personally find you)
  • 2 tablespoons of fresh oregano, chopped like you mean it
  • 2 tablespoons of red wine vinegar, don't you dare substitute this
  • 1 teaspoon of crushed red pepper flakes, to add some damn heat
  • ½ cup of olive oil, use the good stuff or get the hell out
  • Salt and pepper, to season like your life depends on it

Recipe:

  1. Sear the steak: Rub that flank steak with salt and pepper like your ex's face. Sear it in a screaming hot skillet for about 4 minutes per side, or until it's perfectly medium-rare. Let it rest for a few damn minutes.
  2. Make the chimichurri sauce: In a bowl, mix together the parsley, garlic, oregano, red wine vinegar, red pepper flakes, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Taste it and adjust the seasoning because I swear to god if it's bland, I'll come for you.
  3. Slice the steak: Cut the steak against the grain into thin slices. Don't mess this up, or I'll haunt your dreams.
  4. Serve: Drizzle that badass chimichurri sauce all over the sliced steak like you're Jackson Pollock. Dig in and savor every fucking bite.

What are you still doing here reading this shit? Go grab those ingredients and start cooking before I lose my goddamn mind. This Chimichurri Steak won't make itself, you lazy sack of potatoes!

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Saturday, December 7 2024

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