Rage Recipes: Quinoa Salad with Roasted Vegetables

RageRecipes

Introduction: Today, we're making a Quinoa Salad with Roasted Vegetables because apparently, eating healthy is trendy now. Well, fuck trends, this dish is not just for the hipsters and health nuts, it's for anyone who appreciates a goddamn delicious meal.

Rant: You know what really grinds my gears? Those pretentious food bloggers who act like they invented cooking. They drone on and on about their organic, gluten-free, locally-sourced bullshit ingredients like they're saving the world one avocado at a time. Newsflash, Karen, nobody cares about your self-righteous culinary escapades. Just give us the damn recipe and shut the hell up.

Ingredients:

1 cup quinoa, rinsed and drained (because apparently quinoa needs a fucking spa treatment)
2 cups mixed vegetables (whatever the hell is in your fridge that's about to go bad)
2 tablespoons olive oil (if you use anything other than olive oil, you're just wrong)
Salt and pepper (just fucking season it to taste)
1/4 cup chopped fresh herbs (optional, but if you skip this, you're dead to me)

Recipe:

Preheat your oven to 400°F (or don't, I don't really give a shit)
Toss the mixed vegetables with olive oil, salt, and pepper on a baking sheet. Roast in the oven for 20-25 minutes until they're fucking delicious.
Cook the quinoa according to the package instructions because even I can't mess that up.
Once the quinoa and vegetables are ready, combine them in a large bowl like you're making a fucking masterpiece.
Garnish with fresh herbs because we're fancy as hell.
Serve this incredible creation and bask in the glory of your cooking skills (or lack thereof).

What the hell are you still doing here? Get off your lazy ass and start cooking this Quinoa Salad with Roasted Vegetables before I lose my goddamn mind!

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Thursday, February 6 2025

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Brought to you with an unhealthy dose of anger and love for food.
Expect a new post around 08:45 today. (It's 03:31 right now)