- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (what the fuck else would you use? Dirt? Rubbish? Get your shit together)
- 1/3 cup packed brown sugar (if you forget this, you don't deserve waffles, go eat some grass)
- 2 teaspoons baking powder (don't even think about using expired shit, you lazy ass)
- 1/2 teaspoon salt (seriously, if you screw up waffles with salt, you should just give up on life)
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon (you better not be using that weak, old, tasteless cinnamon. Spice it up, damn it)
- 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg (use fresh nutmeg or get the hell out of my kitchen)
- 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves (yes, you read that right. It's cloves, not love. Get your head out of your ass)
- 1 cup milk (whole milk, none of that watery crap)
- 1/2 cup canned pumpkin (don't even think about that pumpkin pie filling bullshit)
- 1/4 cup butter, melted (if you can screw up melting butter, you should reconsider your life choices)
- 2 large eggs (if you mess up cracking eggs, just stop cooking forever)
- 1/2 cup chopped pecans (if you're allergic, tough luck. More for me)
- Preheat your waffle iron (if you don't have one, why the hell are you here?)
- In a large bowl, mix together the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves. Make sure it's well mixed, or your waffles will taste like crap.
- In a separate bowl, whisk together the milk, pumpkin, melted butter, and eggs. Don't be lazy, whisk properly.
- Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until just combined. Don't overmix, unless you want rubber waffles, you idiot.
- Gently fold in the chopped pecans. If you crush them too much, I will find you.
- Grease the waffle iron with some butter or oil (if you skip this step, you're dead to me).
- Pour the batter into the waffle iron and cook according to the manufacturer's instructions. Do I look like a manual?
- Once done, serve the waffles hot with butter, maple syrup, and more pecans on top. Don't you dare ruin it with some fake syrup.
xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Tuesday, August 20 2024