What the Fuck is it Now? Peach Pecan Chicken Skewers

Alright, you sorry lot of culinary imbeciles. Today, I'm gracing your pathetic existence with a recipe that might actually make your taste buds wake the hell up - Peach Pecan Chicken Skewers. Why, you ask? Because I'm a goddamn rebel in the kitchen, and I like to mix flavors that'll blow your feeble minds. And for fuck's sake, it's about time you try something other than your bland, basic bullshit recipes.

• 1 pound of chicken breast, cut into chunks (or as the peasants say, 'cubed')
• 2 peaches, sliced into wedges and ready to rock your world
• A handful of pecans, because god forbid we leave out the fancy nuts
• 2 tablespoons of olive oil (don't you dare use that cheap crap, you absolute buffoon)
• 1 tablespoon of honey, to sweeten up your otherwise bitter soul
• Salt and pepper, because, well, I guess even you idiots know that by now

1. Preheat your grill to a temperature hotter than the depths of hell, you useless twats.

2. Thread the chicken, peaches, and pecans onto skewers like you're actually capable of doing something right for once.

3. Mix the olive oil, honey, salt, and pepper in a bowl, then generously slather that heavenly concoction all over your skewers.

4. Grill those skewers until the chicken is cooked through and the peaches have a nice caramelized char. Don't you dare overcook them, or I'll come haunt your dreams.

5. Serve those succulent skewers with a side of whatever the hell you want, and try not to drool all over yourself as you devour every last morsel.

What are you still doing here, you absolute waste of oxygen? Get off your sorry arse, gather those ingredients, and start grilling these Peach Pecan Chicken Skewers before I lose what little faith I have left in humanity.

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Saturday, April 5 2025