Today we're diving into the world of roasting a fucking chicken, specifically a Lemon Herb Roasted Chicken. Why did I choose this recipe, you ask? Well, because I'm sick and tired of all these fancy-ass cooking shows making it seem like roasting a damn chicken is some kind of culinary masterpiece. It's not. It's basic as fuck, but when done right, it's absolutely delicious.
Cooking shows can suck on a moldy lemon for all I care. They make everything seem so goddamn complicated. Like, who has the time to source all those fancy ingredients and spend hours in the kitchen? Not me, that's for damn sure. Keep your truffle oil and edible flowers, I'll stick to the basics and make it fucking tasty.
- 1 whole chicken, giblets removed (yeah, like anyone wants that shit in their bird)
- 2 lemons, halved (don't even think about using that bottled lemon juice crap)
- 4 cloves of garlic, minced (make sure to smash those little fuckers)
- A handful of fresh rosemary (none of that dried shit, we want flavor)
- A handful of fresh thyme (if you even think about using dried, I will hunt you down)
- Olive oil (don't be cheap, get the good stuff)
- Salt and pepper (if you don't season your chicken, we can't be friends)
- Preheat your oven to 425°F (218°C). Let that bitch get nice and hot.
- Pat your chicken dry with some paper towels. We want that skin crispy as hell.
- Season the inside of the chicken cavity with salt and pepper. Stuff it with the halved lemons, garlic, rosemary, and thyme. Don't be gentle, shove that shit in there.
- Truss the chicken using kitchen twine. Make that bird look all neat and tidy.
- Place the chicken in a roasting pan and drizzle it with olive oil. Rub that oil all over, like you're giving it a massage.
- Season the outside of the chicken generously with salt and pepper. We want flavor in every damn bite.
- Roast the chicken in the preheated oven for about 1 hour, or until the juices run clear and the skin is golden brown and crispy.
- Let the chicken rest for a few minutes before carving into that juicy goodness.
Get off your lazy ass and start roasting that Lemon Herb Roasted Chicken. Trust me, it'll be the best damn bird you've ever tasted. And if you screw it up, well, I can't help you there.
xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Wednesday, February 26 2025