Listen up, you culinary masochists! I chose this recipe for lemon herb grilled shrimp because apparently, you motherfuckers need some variety in your diet other than frozen pizza and instant ramen. Plus, grilling shrimp with these herbs will make you feel like a damn gourmet chef in your own backyard. Now pay attention and try not to burn your goddamn eyebrows off.
Let's talk about marinades, shall we? I'm so sick and tired of all these basic bitch recipes telling you to marinate your shrimp for hours on end. Ain't nobody got time for that shit! You think the shrimp care if they sit in a bath of herbs and lemon juice for hours? Hell no! Just a quick toss and onto the grill, that's all you need.
- 1 pound of jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined (Don't be a lazy ass and buy pre-cooked shrimp, you lazy fuck!)
- 2 tablespoons of olive oil (Extra virgin, none of that cheap crap)
- 3 cloves of garlic, minced (Don't use that jarred crap, fresh is the only way to go!)
- 1 lemon, juiced and zested (If you even think about using that fake lemon juice from a bottle, I will find you!)
- 1 teaspoon of dried oregano (Fresh is for the weak, dried is where it's at!)
- 1 teaspoon of dried thyme (Again, dried herbs or GTFO!)
- Salt and pepper, to taste (If you oversalt this shit, I will come for you!)
- Preheat your grill to medium-high heat. If you don't have a grill, I don't know what the hell you're doing with your life.
- In a small bowl, combine olive oil, minced garlic, lemon juice, lemon zest, oregano, thyme, salt, and pepper. Mix that shit well.
- Toss the shrimp in the marinade until they're coated evenly. Don't be gentle, these shrimp can take it!
- Thread the shrimp onto skewers because we're fancy like that. Don't forget to soak the skewers in water beforehand unless you want a fiery disaster on your hands.
- Grill the shrimp for 2-3 minutes per side until they're pink and slightly charred. Don't you dare overcook these delicate little fuckers!
- Remove the shrimp from the grill and serve immediately with an extra squeeze of lemon because why the hell not?
xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Wednesday, May 21 2025