Garlic Butter Shrimp Scampi

Cooking up some fucking Garlic Butter Shrimp Scampi today because who the hell doesn't love succulent shrimp drenched in garlic butter goodness? And if you don't, well then go eat a bowl of lukewarm oatmeal and leave the good shit to the rest of us.

Let's talk about those useless fucking garlic presses that are supposed to make your life easier but end up being a pain in the ass to clean. I mean, who needs a garlic press when you can just grab a damn knife and smash that garlic clove into oblivion? Save yourself the trouble and stick to the basics, people!

• 1 pound of fresh shrimp, peeled and deveined (and for fuck's sake, make sure they're deveined or you'll have a nasty surprise)
• 1/2 cup of unsalted butter (don't you dare substitute this with some margarine crap)
• 5 cloves of garlic, minced (get those fingers stinking of garlic goodness)
• 1/4 cup of white wine (and no, you can't just drink the whole bottle while cooking)
• 1/4 cup of freshly squeezed lemon juice (none of that bottled shit, please)
• Salt and pepper to taste (don't be shy with the damn seasoning)
• A handful of fresh parsley, chopped (because we're fancy like that)
• Cooked pasta of your choice (spaghetti or linguine works best)

1. Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and melt the butter until it's sizzling and starting to brown (just like your attitude).
2. Add the minced garlic to the skillet and cook for about a minute until fragrant (don't burn that shit or I'll come after you).
3. Toss in the shrimp and cook until they turn pink and opaque, about 2-3 minutes per side (overcooked shrimp is a crime, so don't fuck it up).
4. Pour in the white wine and lemon juice, and season with salt and pepper to taste (taste that damn sauce and adjust as needed).
5. Stir in the chopped parsley and remove the skillet from the heat (we're almost there, don't you dare walk away).
6. Serve the shrimp scampi over a bed of cooked pasta, drizzle that delicious garlic butter sauce on top, and devour like the hungry beast you are.

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Sunday, July 21 2024