Furious Balsamic Glazed Chicken Drumsticks Recipe | Rage Recipes
Today, you meat-munching savages, we'll be diving into the realm of poultry. I've chosen this recipe, Balsamic Glazed Chicken Drumsticks, because these succulent motherfuckers are a guaranteed crowd-pleaser. This dish is all about the flavors, the crispiness, and the sweet tanginess of that damn balsamic glaze. So strap on your aprons, grab your drumsticks, and let's get this shitshow started!
Before we get into the specifics of this recipe, I need to have a furious venting session about marinating - the biggest goddamn scam in the culinary world. All those fancy culinary experts and food bloggers will tell you to marinate your meat for hours or overnight to enhance the flavor. Well, let me tell you something, you gullible fucks. Marinating does jack shit!
Marinades only penetrate the surface of the meat, leaving the interior as bland as a fucking beige living room. So, instead of wasting your precious time marinating, we'll focus on creating a kickass balsamic glaze that will explode in your mouth like flavor-packed hand grenades.
- 8 chicken drumsticks (because fuck breast meat)
- 1 cup balsamic vinegar (get the good shit, not that watery vinegar impostor)
- 1/4 cup honey (because we need sweetness to balance my raging saltiness)
- 4 cloves of garlic, minced (because we want your breath to scare off vampires)
- 2 tablespoons soy sauce (because we need to add some umami to this furious party)
- 1 teaspoon dried thyme (because fuck fresh herbs, they go bad too fucking quickly)
- 1 teaspoon smoked paprika (because we need that smoky, fiery flavor profile)
- Salt and freshly ground black pepper (because without these, you're no better than a tasteless disgrace to humanity)
- Chopped fresh parsley (for garnish, if you have the energy to give a shit about presentation)
- Preheat your motherfucking oven to 425°F (220°C). We need that fiery hell to cook these drumsticks to crispy perfection.
- In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the balsamic vinegar, honey, minced garlic, soy sauce, dried thyme, and smoked paprika. Stir that shit together until it's well blended and the flavors are mingling like an uncomfortable orgy.
- Bring the mixture to a boil and then reduce the heat to a simmer, letting it bubble and thicken like the lava from an erupting volcano. This should take around 5 minutes, so don't even bother looking at your goddamn phone during this crucial fucking step.
- While your balsamic glaze is getting its shit together, grab those chicken drumsticks and season those fuckers generously with salt and black pepper. Don't be fucking shy now. We need that seasoning to penetrate those crispy chicken skins.
- Place the seasoned drumsticks on a rimmed baking sheet lined with foil or parchment paper. Always cover your ass like a true professional.
- Brush the balsamic glaze all over the drumsticks, coating them evenly with that delicious sticky nectar from the gods. Don't waste a single drop of that glaze. I fucking mean it.
- Pop those bad boys into the preheated oven and let them bake for around 25-30 minutes. You want the skin to be crispy as fuck and the internal temperature to reach 165°F (74°C) so you don't die of salmonella like a fucking amateur.
- Once those drumsticks are cooked to perfection, take them out of the oven and let them rest for a couple of minutes. This will give you enough time to wipe the drool off your face.
- Sprinkle some chopped fresh parsley over those glorious drumsticks if you give enough of a shit about making them look pretty. But honestly, who the fuck cares? Dig in and devour them straight off the baking sheet like the savage beast you are.
Now that you've gorged yourself on the literary feast of this furious recipe, get your lazy ass up and start cooking these Balsamic Glazed Chicken Drumsticks. Don't you dare procrastinate and ruin this divine opportunity. Your taste buds are begging for a satisfying explosion of flavors. Go on now, get cooking, you lazy piece of shit!
xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Sunday, January 21 2024