Rage Recipes: The Very Fucking Angry Cook

Fuming Fury: Caramel Macchiato

Listen up, you sorry excuse for a food enthusiast! Today we're diving into the realm of the almighty Caramel Macchiato. Why did I choose this recipe, you ask? Because nothing gets my blood boiling like those overpriced, pretentious coffee shops that serve watered-down versions of this classic drink. I'm here to show you how to make a real Caramel Macchiato that will put those coffee snobs to shame!

Ingredients:

• 1 cup of freshly brewed strong-ass espresso
• 1/2 cup of steamed whole milk (none of that nonfat crap)
• 2 tablespoons of vanilla syrup (don't cheap out on me with that fake stuff)
• 1 tablespoon of caramel sauce (make sure it's the good shit)
• A sprinkle of sea salt (because salt makes everything better, you heathen)

Recipe:

1. Start by brewing a kick-ass cup of espresso. None of that weak crap – make it strong enough to wake the dead.

2. While your espresso is brewing, steam the whole milk until it's nice and frothy. If you don't have a steamer, you can heat it up on the stove and use a damn whisk.

3. Grab a fancy glass because presentation matters, you uncultured swine. Add the vanilla syrup to the bottom of the glass.

4. Pour the steamed milk over the vanilla syrup, holding back the foam with a spoon like the badass barista you are not.

5. Carefully pour the espresso over the milk. It should create a beautiful layered effect, but if it doesn't, who the hell cares – it's all going to the same place anyway.

6. Drizzle the caramel sauce on top like you're an artist painting a masterpiece. Then, sprinkle a pinch of sea salt because why the hell not?

7. Grab a stirring stick and mix that beauty together. Sip it like you're the king or queen of the coffee world. And if anyone dares to disturb your moment of bliss, throw the damn drink in their face.

Start Making This Caramel Macchiato NOW, You Lazy Piece of Garbage!

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Tuesday, February 27 2024