Angry Chef Presents: Fucking Garlic Herb Roasted Chicken Thighs

I chose this recipe today because I'm sick and tired of watching these so-called cooking shows where the hosts can't even boil a fucking pot of water without reading off a teleprompter! I mean, for fuck's sake, if you're going to teach people how to cook, at least act like you've been in a kitchen before. Is it too much to ask for a little authenticity? It's like watching a bunch of chimpanzees trying to perform brain surgery. It's a disgrace to the culinary world!

• 6 bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs (because boneless, skinless is for wimps)
• 5 cloves of garlic, minced (crush those little fuckers)
• 2 tablespoons of olive oil (make sure it's extra virgin or don't even bother)
• 1 tablespoon of fresh parsley, chopped (none of that dried shit)
• 1 tablespoon of fresh thyme leaves (strip those fuckers off the stems)
• Salt and pepper (to taste, you should fucking know this by now)

Step 1: Preheat your goddamn oven to 400°F. Get that shit nice and hot, just like your temper when someone tells you they don't like garlic.

Step 2: In a small bowl, mix together the minced garlic, olive oil, parsley, thyme, salt, and pepper. Make sure it's well combined, like a dysfunctional family trying to act normal at Thanksgiving dinner.

Step 3: Pat the chicken thighs dry with paper towels because nobody likes a wet, slimy piece of poultry. Rub the garlic herb mixture all over those thighs, getting into every nook and cranny like you're giving them a sensual massage.

Step 4: Place the chicken thighs skin-side up on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Pop those bad boys in the oven and roast for about 35-40 minutes, or until the skin is crispy and golden brown, and the juices run clear. Don't fuck it up by overcooking, you donkey!

Step 5: Once the chicken thighs are done, let them rest for a few minutes before serving. Garnish with some extra fresh herbs because you're fancy like that.

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Tuesday, June 4 2024