I fucking chose this recipe for Mango Pineapple Salsa because it's a goddamn flavor explosion that will make your taste buds do a fucking happy dance. This shit is perfect for summer BBQs, taco nights, or just for straight up devouring with a bag of tortilla chips. Plus, it's so damn easy to make, even your lazy ass can't fuck it up. Can we talk about these pretentious, Instagram-worthy food blogs that make you scroll through a damn novel just to get to the recipe? Like, bitch, I don't give a rat's ass about your grandma's inspirational story behind this fucking salsa. Just give me the ingredients and steps without making me want to punch my screen. My recipes get straight to the point because ain't nobody got time for that bullshit. - 1 ripe mango, diced (fuck cutting mangoes, they're slippery little bastards) - 1 cup diced pineapple (canned is fine, ain't nobody judging) - 1/2 red onion, finely chopped (if you cry while chopping, you're weak) - 1 jalapeño, seeded and minced (remove the seeds unless you wanna set your mouth on fire) - 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped (if you hate cilantro, you're a culinary abomination) - Juice of 1 lime (roll that bitch on the counter before juicing for max juice extraction) - Salt to taste (don't be a wuss, season that shit properly) In a fucking mixing bowl, combine the diced mango, pineapple, red onion, jalapeño, cilantro, and lime juice. Season with salt to taste and gently stir that shit together until everything is mixed well. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes to let the flavors marry and get freaky with each other. Serve your Mango Pineapple Salsa with grilled chicken, fish tacos, or just shovel it into your mouth with a spoon like the savage you are. This salsa is so damn good, you'll wanna put it on everything from burgers to nachos. Get the fuck in the kitchen and make this salsa ASAP, you lazy sack of potatoes.

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Friday, April 12 2024