Alright, motherfuckers... Today we're making Chocolate Lava Cake because let's face it, who the hell doesn't love a warm, gooey chocolatey mess? If you're the type of asshole who doesn't, then get the hell out of here and go eat some kale chips or something.
Listen up, you pretentious culinary dickheads who jump on every fucking baking trend there is just to show off on Instagram. I don't give a shit if your cake pops look like tiny unicorns shitting rainbows. Keep it simple, focus on flavor, and stop being a show-off.
Preheat your oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit, you incompetent twat. Grease the shit out of 4 ramekins with butter and a sprinkle of cocoa powder, then place them on a baking sheet because I know you're prone to fucking up.
Melt the damn butter and chocolate together in a bowl over simmering water, stirring until smooth like you should have your shit together. Remove from heat and mix in the sugar like your life depends on it.
Beat in the eggs one at a time like you're in a prison brawl, then stir in the flour and salt until just combined. Divide the batter among the ramekins like you actually want to taste this amazing dessert.
Bake for 12-14 minutes until the edges are set but the center is still soft. Don't overbake, or I'll personally come and slap you with a wet trout. Let it sit for a minute before running a knife around the edge and inverting onto a plate. Serve that shit hot with ice cream or whipped cream because you're not a goddamn savage.
Why the hell are you still sitting there reading this? Get off your lazy ass, gather the ingredients, and make this Chocolate Lava Cake NOW. Don't make me hunt you down. Enjoy, you magnificent bastard.
xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Thursday, December 26 2024