Hey you sorry excuses for cooks, today I have a recipe that will make your taste buds weep with joy. It's time to bring some fucking flavor to your life with this Cranberry Orange Chicken. I chose this recipe because it combines the tanginess of cranberries with the refreshing citrus punch of oranges, resulting in a dish that will have you licking your goddamn plate clean.
Now, let me take a moment to rant about those pretentious food bloggers who think they're the kings and queens of the kitchen. They prance around in their pristine aprons, using fancy words to describe their fucking mediocre recipes. Well, not here, my friends. I'm here to serve you a dish that will punch you right in the face with flavor. No bullshit, no unnecessary frills.
1. Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C). It's time to get this shitshow started.
2. Grab your sorry-ass chicken breasts and season those motherfuckers with salt and pepper. Don't be stingy, give them some goddamn flavor.
3. Heat up a skillet over medium-high heat and add that tablespoon of olive oil. Swirl it around like you're in some fucked-up cooking show.
4. Once the oil is hot enough, toss in those chicken breasts. Sear those beautiful bastards on both sides until they turn a delicious golden brown. This will take around 3-4 minutes per side. Make sure they're cooked through, we don't need any raw chicken shenanigans.
5. Remove the chicken from the skillet and place it in a baking dish. Now it's time to get saucy.
6. In a bowl, mix together the cranberries, orange zest, orange juice, minced garlic, soy sauce, and honey. Pour that glorious mixture all over the chicken breasts, making sure they are thoroughly coated.
7. Pop that baking dish into the preheated oven and let it cook for about 25-30 minutes. You want those cranberries to burst, releasing their tangy awesomeness onto the chicken.
8. While that chicken is roasting away, take a moment to reflect on how pathetic your cooking skills used to be. Now rejoice in the fact that you're actually making something damn tasty.
9. Once the chicken is cooked through, take it out of the oven and let it rest for a couple of minutes before serving. Those juices need to settle down, just like you need to settle down and start fucking eating.
10. Serve this Cranberry Orange Chicken with some fluffy rice or roasted vegetables. Don't forget to spoon some of that delectable sauce over the top. It's so good, you'll want to swim in it.
Now, if you haven't started making this dish yet, what the fuck are you waiting for? Get off your lazy ass and make some goddamn Cranberry Orange Chicken. Your taste buds will thank you, and so will I.
xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Saturday, December 23 2023