Rage Recipes: Cajun Chicken Skewers

Hey there, you culinary fucktards! Today we're diving into the fiery depths of Cajun cuisine with these motherfucking Cajun Chicken Skewers. Why did I choose this recipe, you ask? Well, because I fucking love Cajun flavors, and I hate those pansy-ass recipe blogs that don't have the balls to use enough spice. So, gather your ingredients, put on your flameproof gloves, and let's get cooking!

A Rant About Spices

Let's talk about spices for a fucking minute, shall we? I can't stand it when a recipe calls for a tiny pinch of some exotic spice like unicorn fur or fairy tears. Fuck that noise! We want bold flavors that punch you in the goddamn mouth! So, for these Cajun Chicken Skewers, we're using a whole damn arsenal of spices that will make your taste buds beg for mercy.

Ingredients You Pathetic Shits Will Need

• 2 pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breasts, because we ain't got time for bones or skin
• 1 tablespoon of paprika, that shit adds some serious color and flavor
• 1 tablespoon of garlic powder, because garlic is the goddamn king of all flavors
• 1 tablespoon of onion powder, because onions are like little flavor grenades
• 1 tablespoon of dried oregano, like tiny herbaceous daggers in your mouth
• 1 tablespoon of dried thyme, because thyme is money, motherfuckers
• 1 tablespoon of cayenne pepper, for that fiery Cajun kick
• 1 tablespoon of black pepper, because we need a little kick in the balls
• 1 tablespoon of salt, because if you don't add salt, you're dead to me
• 1/4 cup of olive oil, to lube up our chicken skewers
• Wooden skewers, soaked for at least 30 minutes, so they don't turn into goddamn torches

Instructions for You Morons

1. First, cut the chicken breasts into bite-sized pieces, because who the fuck wants to wrestle with a giant chunk of chicken on a stick?
2. In a large bowl, combine the paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, oregano, thyme, cayenne pepper, black pepper, salt, and olive oil. Mix that shit up until it's one spicy, oily mess.
3. Throw the chicken into the bowl of spices and oil, and toss that shit around until every piece is coated in the fiery goodness that Cajun dreams are made of.
4. Now, thread the chicken onto your soaked skewers, because if you skip the soaking step and your skewers catch fire, don't come crying to me, you dumbass.
5. Preheat your grill to medium-high heat, because we're gonna sear these fuckers until they're golden brown and bursting with flavor.
6. Throw those skewers onto the grill and cook for about 5 minutes per side, until the chicken is fully cooked and you can practically hear the spices screaming in agony.
7. Once cooked, remove those bad boys from the grill and let them rest for a minute. I know you're impatient, but give those flavors a chance to mingle, you greedy fuck.
8. Serve these Cajun Chicken Skewers with some steamed rice, a side of spicy Cajun sauce, and a tall glass of ice-cold beer. Feel the burn, motherfuckers!

Well, what the fuck are you still doing here, reading my angry rambles? Start cooking, you lazy pieces of shit! Get off your ass and make these Cajun Chicken Skewers before I lose my goddamn mind!

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Saturday, December 16 2023