Alright, you fucking food masochists, today I've got a recipe that's going to make your taste buds scream "holy fucking shit!" It's time to bring the fire with some Cajun Blackened Fish. Now, why the hell did I choose this recipe? Well, because I'm fucking tired of all those bland-ass fillets that make me want to take a mortal blowtorch to my taste buds. It's time to spice things up and show those basic bitches how it's fucking done!
Before we dive into the ingredients, let me tell you something about these little flavor bombs called spices. I fucking love spices, and I'm not talking about your basic, flavorless, uninspiring ones that sit on your dusty kitchen shelf for years. No, I'm talking about the real shit - the spices that burst with life, punch you in the face, and leave you begging for more. It's time to stop treating spices like they're some delicate, fragile ingredient. Embrace the fucking heat, you weaklings!
- 4 skinless, boneless fish fillets (I prefer snapper, grouper, or catfish, but choose whatever the hell you like)
- 2 tablespoons of paprika
- 2 teaspoons of dried thyme
- 2 teaspoons of dried oregano
- 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper (or more if you're feeling ballsy)
- 1 teaspoon of garlic powder (get the fuck out of my kitchen if you even think about using garlic salt)
- 1 teaspoon of onion powder
- 1 teaspoon of salt (yeah, I know it's not a spice, but shut the fuck up and use it)
- 1 teaspoon of black pepper
- 4 tablespoons of unsalted butter, melted (because everything tastes better with butter, you ignorant fucks)
- Lemon wedges, for serving
- First things first, preheat your oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit (200 degrees Celsius). Grab a fucking baking sheet lined with aluminum foil, and spray it down with some non-stick cooking spray. We don't want our precious fish sticking to the pan like a clingy ex-lover.
- Now, let's move on to the star of the show – the spicy blackening seasoning. In a small bowl, combine the paprika, dried thyme, dried oregano, cayenne pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and black pepper. Give it a good mix and taste it to make sure it'll burn your mouth off. Adjust the seasonings if needed because we're not here to play it safe.
- Pat your fish fillets dry with some paper towels because we want those fuckers as dry as an oasis in the Sahara. Sprinkle both sides of the fillets liberally with the blackening seasoning. Use your hands and get dirty with it. Massage that seasoning into the flesh like you're giving the fish a deep tissue massage. Make sure every nook, cranny, and crevice is coated with this fiery blend.
- Now, may I have your attention please? It's time to bring out some firepower. Heat a cast-iron skillet over high heat until it's hotter than the devil's asshole. We're talking smoking hot. Now, carefully place those seasoned fillets in the skillet and cook them for about 2 minutes on each side. We're not looking for the fish to be cooked all the way through, you idiots. We just want to sear the fuck out of it and get that crispy, blackened crust.
- Once you're done with the skillet, remove the fillets from the pan and transfer them to the prepared baking sheet. Slather those sizzling hot fillets with the melted butter because, remember, everything's better with butter. Pop the whole shebang in the preheated oven and let the fish finish cooking for about 8-10 minutes, or until it's flaky and cooked to perfection.
- When your fish is ready to be devoured, squeeze some fresh lemon juice all over those bad boys. Serve them up with some rice, vegetables, or anything else your heart fucking desires.
So, there you have it, you lazy sacks of shit. A recipe for some mind-blowing Cajun Blackened Fish that will make you question your existence. Now, get off your sorry ass, gather these goddamn ingredients, and start fucking cooking. And if you don't, well, that's your fucking loss.
xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Tuesday, January 23 2024