Today we are diving into the world of fucking blueberry pancakes. Why, you ask? Because everyone loves these fluffy stacks of goodness, and if you don't, then you can fuck right off. There's nothing like biting into a warm, syrup-soaked pancake bursting with juicy blueberries to start your day off right.
Let's talk about these so-called "healthy" pancake recipes that flood the internet. Oh, you want to use whole wheat flour and honey instead of all-purpose flour and sugar? Congratulations, you just made a sad excuse for a pancake that tastes like cardboard. Stop pretending like you're making a healthy choice and just enjoy a fucking pancake once in a while.
- 1 cup all-purpose flour (not that whole wheat bullshit)
- 2 tablespoons sugar (yes, real sugar, not some fake sweetener)
- 2 teaspoons baking powder (make sure it's fresh, you lazy fuck)
- 1/2 teaspoon salt (don't be shy with the salt, it's not gonna kill you)
- 1 cup milk (whole milk for extra richness)
- 1 large egg (brown eggs, none of that white egg nonsense)
- 2 tablespoons melted butter (none of that margarine crap)
- 1 cup fresh blueberries (frozen is for the weak)
- Sift together the fucking flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. Don't skip this step, you lazy piece of shit.
- In a separate bowl, whisk together the milk, egg, and melted butter. Pour this wet mixture into the dry ingredients and stir until just combined. Lumps are fucking fine, don't overmix.
- Gently fold in the blueberries. If you crush them, I will find you.
- Heat a non-stick skillet over medium heat and grease it with butter. Pour 1/4 cup of batter for each pancake onto the skillet.
- Cook until bubbles form on the surface, then flip and cook until golden brown. Repeat with the rest of the batter, you impatient twat.
- Serve those fluffy discs of perfection with a pat of butter and a generous drizzle of maple syrup. If you even think about using that sugar-free crap, I will hunt you down.
xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Tuesday, October 1 2024