I chose to share a recipe for a Blackberry Mojito because it's the perfect cocktail to showcase my sophisticated taste... Just kidding, it's because I fucking love the refreshing combination of mint, lime, and sweet blackberries in a cocktail. It's like a party in my mouth, and I just can't get enough of it. Let me tell you something, those other fucking cocktail blogs out there just don't get it. They spend all their time talking about nonsense like "balance" and "elegance," but screw that! I'm here to give it to you straight - if it tastes good, that's all that fucking matters. So let's cut the bullshit and get straight to making this badass Blackberry Mojito. - Fresh blackberries (none of that frozen crap) - Fresh mint leaves (because dried mint is for losers) - White rum (go for the good stuff, none of that cheap shit) - Lime juice (freshly squeezed, I shouldn't even have to say that) - Simple syrup (make it yourself, it's not that fucking hard) - Club soda (don't even think about using tonic water, I'll find you) 1. In a sturdy glass, muddle a handful of fresh blackberries with a few mint leaves until they release their juices and aromas. 2. Add a generous pour of white rum because we're not playing around here. 3. Squeeze in the juice of half a lime and drizzle in some homemade simple syrup. 4. Fill the glass with ice because a lukewarm mojito is a crime against humanity. 5. Top it off with a splash of club soda and give it a good stir so all the flavors can get to know each other. Now that you have all the ingredients and the recipe laid out for you, what's your excuse? Get off your lazy ass, make yourself a Blackberry Mojito, and start enjoying life a little. And if you don't like it, well, that's your problem, not mine.

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Sunday, May 11 2025