Baked Cod with Lemon and Herbs

Alright, you miserable fucks, today I have a recipe for all you seafood aficionados out there. We're going to cook up some goddamn delicious baked cod with lemon and herbs. Now, I know some of you might be living in landlocked shitholes where fresh seafood is about as rare as common sense, but for the lucky assholes who have access to fresh cod, pay the fuck attention because this recipe is going to blow your goddamn taste buds away.

A Rant About Seafood Snobs

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of this recipe, let me take a moment to rant about those pretentious seafood snobs who turn their noses up at anything that wasn't caught fresh off some fancy-schmancy yacht. Listen up, you stuck-up pricks! Just because a fish wasn't swimming around your bougie-ass yacht yesterday doesn't mean it can't be delicious. Some of us poor assholes can only afford the frozen shit, okay? So shut your condescending traps and let us enjoy what we can.

Ingredients

• 1 pound of fresh or frozen cod fillets (thawed, you idiots)
• 2 tablespoons of fresh lemon juice (squeezed from a goddamn lemon)
• 2 tablespoons of olive oil (none of that garbage "light" shit)
• 2 cloves of garlic, minced (do I really have to tell you how to fucking mince garlic?)
• 1 teaspoon of dried oregano (get the good stuff, you cheap bastards)
• 1 teaspoon of dried thyme (if you can't find it, fuck it)
• Salt and pepper to taste (don't be stingy, we want this shit seasoned to perfection)
• Fresh parsley, chopped (optional, but if you don't add it, you're dead to me)

Instructions

1. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Yeah, we're cranking up the heat to make this cod sing with flavor. While the oven is throwing its temper tantrum, line a baking dish with aluminum foil. Because fuck scrubbing dishes, am I right?

2. Pat those cod fillets dry with some paper towels, you useless fucktards. We don't want any excess moisture ruining our culinary masterpiece. Place the fillets in the prepared baking dish and set them aside for now.

3. In a small bowl, combine the lemon juice, olive oil, minced garlic, dried oregano, dried thyme, salt, and pepper. Give it a good whisk until everything is well mixed, like the world's most dysfunctional family reunion.

4. Pour that tangy, herby mixture all over the cod fillets. Make sure those bastards are evenly coated and drowning in flavor. Let them marinate for 10 to 15 minutes, or until you're done complaining about your sad excuse for a life.

5. Once your oven is heated up and ready to show that cod who's boss, pop the baking dish in there and bake for about 12 to 15 minutes. Keep a close eye on those fillets, you incompetent dumplings, because we don't want them turning into dry, tasteless shit. The cod is done when it flakes easily with a fork and is opaque all the way through.

6. Get that shit out of the oven, sprinkle some fresh parsley on top like a goddamn herb confetti, and serve it up with some roasted potatoes or a side of sautéed veggies. Or eat it alone, like the lonely fucker you are. I don't give a damn, just start shoving it into your piehole already!

Conclusion

Now that you have this fucking amazing baked cod with lemon and herbs recipe in your hands, what the hell are you waiting for? Start prepping those ingredients, you lazy sacks of shit, and get your sorry asses into the kitchen. Because trust me, once you sink your teeth into this succulent piece of fish, all the anger and frustration in your miserable existence will melt away like butter on a hot pan. So get off your pathetic asses and start cooking!

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Friday, January 5 2024