Balsamic Glazed Brussels Sprouts with Bacon

Introduction: Today, I present to you a recipe for Balsamic Glazed Brussels Sprouts with Bacon. Why did I choose this dish, you ask? Because Brussels sprouts are the underdog of vegetables, constantly overlooked and underestimated. But when cooked right, they can be a goddamn game-changer, especially when you throw some crispy bacon into the mix. It's a combination of savory, sweet, and tangy that will make you question why the hell you haven't been eating Brussels sprouts every damn day.

Rant: Let's talk about bacon, shall we? Everyone loves bacon. It's like the popular kid in high school that gets away with everything just because it's so damn irresistible. But you know what irks me? Those pretentious asshats who act like bacon is overrated. Listen here, if you don't like bacon, you don't know shit about food. Bacon makes everything better, and if you disagree, you can kindly fuck off.

For the Balsamic Glaze:

• 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar (fancy-ass vinegar)
• 2 tablespoons honey (because who the hell uses sugar anymore)
• 1 clove garlic, minced (don't be a lazy prick, mince that garlic yourself)
• Salt and pepper, to taste (if you don't season your food, I will personally come and slap some sense into you)

For the Brussels Sprouts and Bacon:

• 1 pound Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved (make sure you trim those sprouts like your life depends on it)
• 4 slices bacon, chopped (real fucking bacon, not that turkey bacon bullshit)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil (none of that fake shit, only extra virgin olive oil will do)
• Salt and pepper, to taste (seriously, season your food or I'll haunt your dreams)

1. Preheat your oven to 400°F (205°C) because we're not messing around here.
2. In a small saucepan, combine balsamic vinegar, honey, minced garlic, salt, and pepper. Bring it to a simmer over medium heat and let it cook until it's thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. This will take about 10-15 minutes, so don't wander off and start scrolling through Instagram like a mindless zombie.
3. On a baking sheet, toss the trimmed Brussels sprouts with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Make sure each little bastard is coated evenly.
4. Roast the Brussels sprouts in the preheated oven for 20-25 minutes or until they're tender and starting to brown. Give them a good shake halfway through cooking so they cook evenly.
5. While the sprouts are roasting, fry up the chopped bacon in a skillet until it's nice and crispy. Drain on a paper towel because nobody wants a soggy bacon surprise.
6. Once the Brussels sprouts are roasted to perfection, toss them with the crispy bacon in a large bowl. Drizzle that balsamic glaze all over them like a boss and give it a good toss to coat everything evenly.
7. Serve that glorious creation hot and watch as even the Brussels sprout haters in your life devour it with a newfound respect for these little green balls of awesomeness.

What are you still doing here reading this? Get your ass in the kitchen and make these Balsamic Glazed Brussels Sprouts with Bacon! They're waiting for you, so chop chop! And don't forget to thank me later.

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Wednesday, May 28 2025