Today, we're diving deep into the world of sinfully delicious appetizers with these Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Poppers. I chose this recipe because it combines the spicy kick of jalapenos with the savory goodness of bacon, creating a flavor explosion that will make your taste buds scream with joy.
Let's talk about jalapenos for a fucking minute. These little green bastards may look innocent, but don't be fooled - they'll burn your fucking face off if you're not careful. And don't even get me started on people who remove the seeds to make them less spicy. What's the point of eating a jalapeno popper if it's not going to set your mouth on fire? This is a snack for warriors, not wimps.
- Jalapenos - 12 pieces (look for the spiciest ones you can find, don't be a coward)
- Cream cheese - 8 oz (softened, like it's been to a goddamn spa)
- Shredded cheddar cheese - 1 cup (because who doesn't fucking love cheese)
- Garlic powder - 1 tsp (to keep the vampires away)
- Onion powder - 1 tsp (for that extra kick)
- Salt - ½ tsp (to enhance all the flavors)
- Black pepper - ½ tsp (freshly ground, none of that pre-ground bullshit)
- Bacon - 12 slices (none of that thin, wimpy shit - go for the thick-cut bacon)
- Toothpicks - 24 pieces (to keep everything together, like a food bondage)
- First off, preheat your oven to 400°F (200°C). Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and place a wire rack on top.
- Now, let's prepare the jalapenos. Cut off the stems and slice them in half lengthwise. Scoop out the seeds and membranes (if you dare) to reduce the heat level.
- In a mixing bowl, combine the softened cream cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and black pepper. Mix that shit until it's all well combined.
- Fill each jalapeno half with the cheese mixture. Wrap each jalapeno popper with a slice of bacon and secure it with a toothpick.
- Place the bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers on the wire rack and bake in the preheated oven for about 20-25 minutes until the bacon is crispy and the cheese is bubbly.
- Remove from the oven and let them cool for a few minutes before serving. Be careful, these little fuckers will be hot as hell.
- Enjoy these Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Poppers like the spicy, cheesy warriors that you are. Don't be a pansy - embrace the heat!
What the hell are you waiting for? Get off your lazy ass and start cooking these Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Poppers before I come over there and do it for you. Your taste buds will thank you, you incompetent culinary sloth.
xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Monday, February 19 2024