I'm sick and tired of all those pretentious food bloggers out there trying to act like they're the second coming of Julia Child. You know the type - they prance around their perfectly curated kitchens, using words like "delectable" and "sumptuous" to describe fucking cucumbers. Well, let me tell you something, cooking ain't about poetry, it's about getting shit done and making food that makes you want to slap your mama. So here I am, with my no-nonsense, straight-to-the-point recipes that'll make you want to kiss the goddamn stove. - 12 large fucking mushrooms, stems removed and reserved - 6 strips of crispy bacon, chopped into heavenly bacon bits - 1/2 cup grated cheddar cheese (because anything less would be sacrilege) - 1/4 cup finely chopped onion (the tears are worth it) - 2 cloves of garlic, minced like the sorry excuse for a clove they are - 2 tablespoons breadcrumbs (to give these little flavor bombs some goddamn texture) - Salt and pepper, to season like your life depends on it - 2 tablespoons of olive oil (because fuck butter this time) 1. Preheat your fucking oven to 375°F (190°C) and line a baking sheet with aluminum foil because who the hell wants to scrub pans. 2. Take those hollowed-out mushrooms and chop up the reserved stems like you're chopping up your ex's belongings. 3. In a skillet over medium heat, cook the bacon bits until they're crispier than a late-night bacon meme. 4. Add the chopped mushroom stems, onion, and garlic to the skillet and cook until everything's softer than a love ballad. 5. Stir in the breadcrumbs like you're burying a deep, dark secret and cook for another minute before removing from heat. 6. Mix in the cheddar cheese like you're smuggling contraband and season with salt and pepper because bland food is for sad souls. 7. Stuff each mushroom cap with the delicious mixture, piling it high like you give a damn. 8. Drizzle the olive oil over the stuffed mushrooms like it's the fucking elixir of life. 9. Bake in the preheated oven for about 20 minutes, or until the mushrooms are tender and the cheese is bubbling like a cauldron of magic. 10. Serve these babies hot and watch as they disappear faster than a bottle of cheap vodka at a frat party.

xoxo
The Very Fucking Angry Chef
posted on Tuesday, July 16 2024